How to feel good….fast!

“Welcome the energy formerly known as disruption!”

“Invite the sensation you used to call discomfort.”

Or better yet, “Welcome rearrangement! Invite transition!”


And be ready to enjoy life more fully than ever before!

happyBhagavan would say to FEEL. To feel is to see. Freedom is in the seeing.

The ancient shamans have a secret practice that can help maximize  pleasure in life—and minimize  pain. Interested?

The shamans advise: “Welcome discomfort!”

They’ve got to be kidding!

No, they’re not kidding. The ancient ones are quite serious. Or shall I use another word other than serious? Because the effectiveness of “Welcoming discomfort!” depends on NOT taking the discomfort seriously!

Life in the 3rd Dimension

Here on Earth in the 3rd dimension, we’re engaged in a dance of duality, a ballet of opposites, a play of polarity. For every quality in our world, there exists an equal and opposite quality. Light and dark. Up and down. Forward and backward.

To create form out of pure formless energy, we construct this 3-dimensional world by believing in duality. Otherwise, we’d only be able to experience a world of oneness, sameness—pure energy, essence, spirit. And in order to experience any one quality in form, the reverse quality has to also be created in form. For one quality to exist—to come into existence, to be in existence—the opposite of that quality has to also exist.

So Where Does the Fun Come In?

happinessThe key to moving through life in our everyday world as easily, gracefully and pleasurably as possible is to be able to fully experience both sides of all qualities easily, gracefully and pleasurably. In other words, the shaman secret is an approach that keeps us from getting stuck in feeling the “undesirable” aspects of life any longer than necessary.

The shamans offer a practice that allows us to fully experience problems, loss, fear, anger, sadness or pain as efficiently as possible. If we approach the unpreferred qualities in life in a way that makes them easier to fully experience, we can move through them as fast as possible. And spend more of our time with the goodies in life.

Shortcut to Happiness

I know of no one who has been able to avoid the unpleasant events and feelings of life. So if we can’t have a universe without so-called “nasty” situations and emotions, we can at least learn how to deal with those conditions in the most effective and pleasurable way!

The Shaman Secret

The shaman way is to “welcome the discomfort” in life. Invite the uncomfortable, undesirable, unpreferred qualities of life. The solution is to make these qualities as attractive and agreeable as possible—so that we can actually welcome, invite and, therefore, fully experience each quality.

When a person chooses to fully experience a quality, event or feeling, the quality goes full circle, full cycle—and dissolves, disappears. When you give the energy of a situation or feeling the space—the acceptance—to fully express itself, the uncomfortable feeling is complete, done, fulfilled. You’re free of it. It’s over, gone, kaput. You can move on to focus on the more fun aspects of life!

How Do I Welcome Pain?

Good question! By choosing to not approach the situation or feeling as “pain.” Frame the condition with a “feel-able” label—that is, a label you’re more willing to experience. Choose a generic, neutral, uncharged label.

For example, name your “fear” “sensation”, “energy” or “vibration.” You might even be able to experience the “energy formerly known as fear” as “rush” , “adrenaline” or “intensity.”

Or call your “problem” or “crisis” a “challenge” or “situation” or even an “adventure!” Who wants to deal with a problem or crisis? Too heavy. Too serious. Too overwhelming. Too much!
Or that person you avoid because he or she is so “difficult.” Would it be more fun if you invited the “adventure” of intuitively dealing with this “challenging” person?

Fear is Excitement?

Yes! The actual energy we feel in our bodies that we usually call “fear” is the exactly the same energy as we call “excitement!” What creates the difference in our experience of the feeling is our attitude toward the feeling, our approach to the emotion, the way we hold that quality in our consciousness.

When we change the way we label or name “uncomfortable” states, the more approachable the condition is for us to feel, the easier it is for us to experience it—and therefore, the faster we move through the state to another condition that is more enjoyable.

So, if we approach undesirable states like crisis, loss, grief or anger with labels that are more easily feel-able—like situation, sensation, energy, vibration—we will be more willing and able to fully experience those states and move through them more quickly and gracefully.

When we don’t define or name the situations or feelings with a “negative” label, we don’t resist experiencing them fully.

Ride the Realization

You can also use the realization that “Oh, this is the way I set up my life. I create problems, loss, poverty, sadness and pain so that I am able to experience solutions, gain, abundance, joy, and pleasure. I’m willing to approach these states as ‘experiences’ or ‘sensations’ in order to move through them as quickly as possible to get to the other side.” On the other side of fully experiencing any aspect of life is always greater intuition and clarity—which, in turn, leads immediately to more peace and happiness.

What Are You Waiting For?

“Welcome the energy formerly known as disruption!” “Invite the sensation you used to call discomfort.” Or better yet, “Welcome rearrangement! Invite transition!”

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Imagine not worrying about what others think

Imagine how different the world would be if we could all push to do the things we want to do, be the people we want to be and live how we want to live.   ~Sophie 

 

worry not1. Stop Over-thinking

You are not the most important person in the world, at least not to others. It is probably in the majority of occasions that you think you are being judged where people don’t actually care for the thing you are worrying about. Do you judge every single person that you meet, probably not.  If you do, you might want to sort out that side of your life first as there’s no wonder you care what people think of you.

 2. Put things into perspective

To people that aren’t naturally concerned what others think about them, having an issue with it seems quite strange or even silly. The reason is that when you put ‘issues’ like this under the microscope you can see they are really not worth having. You only get ONE chance at life in the physical world and you are going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable?

3. Be confident in your actions

Seeing as it’s likely we’ll always have some thought towards the feelings of others, what if we could really eliminate the amount of times it happens? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking.

Have you never seen someone that might be wearing something out of the ordinary or acting different to the surrounding crowd but things just seem normal and they aren’t being judged?

If you are wearing yellow shoes and are clearly uncomfortable in your choice then people are going to target you because they can see that and they probably want to feel good about themselves. However, if you can wear the shoes with pride and confidence, whilst clearly not caring what other people think then you’ll notice the negative reactions to be very small if any.

4. Learn to control your emotions

When you start to try things like pushing your limits or simply being more confident, you will undoubtedly have mixed emotions in your head. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a mind roller coaster; that is where controlling your emotions comes in.

The simple practice I learned from Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:

  • Be conscious of an emotion inside you i.e. fear or worry
  • Observe it within your mind
  • Notice that if you are observing it, it can’t be a part of you
  • Watch the emotion disappear

As soon as you observe an emotionyou are separating yourself from it. Feel it, accept it, and it will release.

http://dailyhealthboost.com/2011/12/21/the-secret-to-not-caring-what-people-think/#comment-886

Relationship Day – Oneness

Profound words from Bhagavan – Oneness UniversityOneness relationships

Power of words

Are you proud of every word you say?

words to destiny“Would the people I am talking about feel special if they could hear what I was saying about them?

Will My conversations, with every person feel better or worse about themselves after they walk away from me?

Do I tell the whole truth or do I add some extra juicy or gossipy bits to make the story interesting?

Does the tone of my voice make me sound harsh, aggressive or loud?

Do I use complimentary, positive words about all the people in my life or do negative words about my family, friends, team mates or strangers appear when I am angry, tired, frustrated or feeling defensive?

Do my words compliment or criticise?

Do my words pick people up or pull people down?

Do I choose to speak highly of people or would it be better if I said nothing?

Do my words add value to or devalue the people in my life?

Would I be proud of myself if all of my conversations found their way onto the radio for everyone to hear?

Can I be proud of the person I am because of the words I use?”

Rowena Szeszeran-McEvoy

Fear is worry magnified

Worry is just about the worst form of mental activity there is-next to hate, which is deeply self-destructive.  Worry is pointless.  It is wasted mental energy.  It also creates bio-chemical reactions, which harm the body, producing everything from indigestion to coronary arrest, and a multitude of things in between.  Health will improve almost at once when worrying takes a back seat.

 

Fear is worry magnified.  Worry, hate, fear-together with their off shoots: anxiety, bitterness, impatience, unkindness, being judgmental, and condemnation-all attack the body at the cellular level.  It is impossible to have a healthy body under these conditions.

 

 What you most fear is what will most plague you.  Fear will draw it to you like a magnet.  Thought is creative.  Fear attracts like energy.  Emotion is the power, which attracts.  That which you fear strongly, you will experience.  Invite yourself to move past that.  Try a new response.  Try laughter.

You see, suffering has nothing to do with events, but with one’s reaction to them.  What’s happening is merely what’s happening.  How you feel about it is another matter.

Embarrassment is the response of a person who still has an ego investment in how others see him/her…. Neal Donald Walsh

 

What’s your defn. of responsibility?

How much is this planet in the state that we’re in because our social conditioning does not encourage the skill of making our own choices and accepting the consequences of those choices?  Do we try to control others, rather than support? How much do we as individuals take responsibility? Or do we play the very common blaming game?

Here is my favourite definition of Personal Responsibility –

Nothing and no-one is put on this earth to make my life work out.

 While things might sometimes overwhelm me, I take full responsibility for giving myself the best life I can,

regardless of the past, or what may happen in the future.

Furthermore, I have the ability to make choices about how I respond to situations even if I can’t change the situations themselves.

I refuse to see myself as a victim, even though I may at times be victimised.

I am totally responsible for my life.

I am not responsible for other people’s lives.

The diagram below on the left is a general reflection of past social conditioning. The right diagram is where we are moving toward. See the ‘benefit’ in living on the left! And the benefit of living on the right. It’s our choice.

In this day and age, we are evolving towards a self controlled, rather than an other controlled, society.  Our young are going to need this sense of responsibility if we are to become solution focussed rather than competitive and blaming.

“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.”
—Les Brown

QUOTE: The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.  The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins.  ~Bob Moawad

I hope you find this interesting and thought provoking – I believe that responsibility is one of humanity’s learning in this Golden Age.

Peace, love and blessings, Lexia

The company we keep

company we keep

The type of company that we keep definitely affects the mind.

To handle company that pulls
down your energy:
First, you see that you do not
get pulled down, and second,
you pull them up. Third, if you
cannot do that, then you move
away from them.

How can one measure the type of company?
If you sit and share your problem with some people, after walking away from them, if the problem appears much bigger than you ever thought, it is not good company. On the other hand, after sitting and sharing your problem with your friends, when you walk away from them, if it appears as though the problem was nothing, you were unnecessarily worrying, it does not exist, then that is very good company. This is how you should measure company.

When you leave the company, if you go out with much enthusiasm, with a positive feeling, or your energy is pulled down and you feel negative, accordingly you can label your company.

Now if you find that someone’s company is pulling you down all the time, you do not have to avoid it, you simply have to know that they pull down your energy; the next time, you refuse to be pulled down, rather pull them up!

positiveThere are two ways to handle company that pulls down your energy:
1) Pull people out of their negative syndrome – If the company of your spouse or friend is pulling you down, and you feel that you want to avoid them, how many people can you avoid? It is impossible! Instead you step in, refuse to be pulled down, and instead say that I am going to pull them up now! You pull them out of their negative syndrome, that way you are influencing them rather than getting influenced, and this is what we need to do.

2) Recognize people, do not label them, nobody is negative the entire time – Do not label a person as always negative, it is not possible. It is just very comparative, very relative; sometimes they are negative, and sometimes they are positive.

Thus, first, you see that you do not get pulled down, and second, you pull them up. Third, if you cannot do that, then you move away from them.
So, company also affects the mind!

 

Source; http://www.artofliving.org/wisdom/what-affects-your-mind

Parenting and child stages

The best qualification of being a parent is to discover love and teach it to your children.

14 emotions art of livingParenting begins with the intention to conceive. Your intention will have an impact on your child.

Without love, you will not respond but react to your child from fear, frustration or hurt.

If a child is brought up without fear and anxiety, they are capable of giving love.

A child is born right at the moment of conception.

The period of conception to the first 6 hours of the child’s life is crucial.

Keep the child in the space of love for the first 6 weeks…. especially, no super markets, or negativity.

A child’s education begins in the womb, where the child is experiencing what the mother and father are experiencing.  In the womb, the child is experiencing “being”.

Yoga, meditation and being happy are beneficial for the pregnant mother and for the child. The father’s most important job is to make sure that mother is very, very happy.

as it isIn the first 6 hours, the child has an expanded state of consciousness and can sense the thoughts and feelings of everyone around.  Shower them with love and touch them and hold them.  Children make fundamental decisions before the age of 6, which they may carry for the rest of their lives.

3 PHASES

0-6 years

Treat them like a King or Queen.  Lavish them with love, attention and affection.   Reduce the ‘no’s

Try to be present to the child.

The child’s responses and perceptions evolve from here.

6-12 years

Treat the child like a prince or princess.

Strike a balance between freedom and discipline.

Be an example of what you would like your children to become.

Children are natural imitators. Children see and children do.

12/14 years plus

Treat them like a friend and equal.  Bring respect along with love.  Children who are respected grow up to be great individuals.

After 12/14, you need not give instruction to your child, rather use suggestion and enquiries.

Most likely your child will start saying ‘no’ to you. Do not suppress this no phase. It will pass by around the age of 18-20.

Suppression of this ‘no’ phase may lead the child to ‘no’ throughout life.

Help the child think and make decisions to be independent and enquiring, whilst at the same time giving them your full support.

Don’t feel guilty for mistakes.  Love can heal.

Hold your child in your heart, and if you have hurt them, ask for forgiveness.

In their innocence, they come trustingly into your care.

Reference – Notes from a Oneness weekend course.

Free yourself from your ego

How to break through the shell that separates you from your true self.

Vanity and pride are what most of us tend to think of when we think of ego, but ego is much more than an overinflated sense of self. It can also turn up in feelings of inferiority or self-hatred because ego is any image you have of yourself that gives you a sense of identity—and that identity derives from the things you tell yourself and the things other people have been saying about you that you’ve decided to accept as truth.

The sense of separation is an intrinsic part of the ego. The ego loves to strengthen itself by complaining—either in thoughts or words—about other people, the situation you find yourself in, something that is happening right now but “shouldn’t be,” and even about yourself. For example, when you’re in a long line at the supermarket, your mind might start complaining how slow the checkout person is, how he should be doing this or doing that, or he failed to do anything at all—including packing the bag of the person ahead of you correctly.

When this happens, the ego has you in its grip. You don’t have thoughts; the thoughts have you—and if you want to be free, you have to understand that the voice in your head has created them and the irritation and upset you feel is the emotional response to that voice.  Be present to the truer world around you and see the golden shade in a pound of pears on the scanner, or the delight of a child in line who begs to eat them. The trick, of course, is to work to free ourselves from this armor and from this voice that is dictating reality.

Observe Your Mind
The first foundational step is to become aware of what kind of thoughts you habitually think, especially negative thoughts: irritation, anger, impatience and perhaps even some kind of sadness. You might, for example, complain about yourself, how useless you are. If you start to hear these repetitive thoughts, then you will suddenly realize, “I’ve been thinking these same thoughts again and again almost every day without really knowing it.”

Distinguish Between the Voice of Ego and the Actual Situation
Awareness is the beginning of becoming free of the ego because then you realize that your thoughts—and the negative emotions they produce—are dysfunctional and unnecessary. For example, let’s go back to the supermarket line. As you stand waiting, you aren’t actually irritated because it’s taking a long time to get through to the checkout, which is the situation. You are irritated by what your mind is telling you about the situation—which is that all this waiting is bad and a waste of your time. But you could actually be enjoying that moment if you say, “This is simply what is. There’s nothing I can do about it, so why not breathe in deeply and look around and enjoy the world around me?”

Let Go of Limiting Stories
Sometimes the danger is not even a pessimistic thought. If, for instance, you have been let go from your job, you might so resist being negative that you say, “It’s a great thing that I lost my job!”  That kind of willful optimism is not necessary. We hold on to the fairy tale of supposed happiness—that we should be happy. But this keeps you stuck where you are. Instead, try to describe only what is happening, without judgment: I do not have a job. I must look for one.

Bring In Your Awareness
Initially you still lose yourself again, and the old thoughts arise, but gradually, you gain awareness, and the dysfunctional thoughts subside. It’s a gradual transition, this bringing in of your awareness, because the ego doesn’t want to change. It doesn’t want to disappear, so it will give you plenty of reasons why you cannot be present.

Lay Down Your Weapons
Your challenge will be to become more aligned internally with the present moment. Fighting with your ego by will just makes it stronger. By declaring war on it, you make an enemy. A simple example: You wake up in the morning, and it’s raining and gray, and the mind says, “What a miserable day,” and this is not a pleasant thought. You likely feel some emotion: dread, disappointment, unhappiness. You suddenly realize that your judgment of what kind of day it will be is based on a mental habit, an unconscious default. That simple awareness creates space for a new thought to emerge. You can look again out the window without that preconception and just see the sky. It’s gray. There’s some sunlight filtering through the sky. There are, perhaps, raindrops falling. It’s not actually miserable at all. It has a certain beauty. Then suddenly, you’re free. You’re no longer imposing something on reality, and you’re free to enjoy what, previously, you had rejected.

Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth

To learn more about the ego, overcoming adversity and creating inner peace and meaning in your life visit EckhartTolleTV.com.

The warning signs in a relationship

Not telling the truth in a relationship is like not watering a plant – you are killing something that was once alive and growing.

The inevitable result of holding back the truth from someone you care for is that you end up holding back the love as well.  You simply cannot suppress the negative feelings and expect the positive emotions to remain lively and you certainly can’t expect to grow in love if you can’t feel and express your feelings.

There are four warning signs in every relationship that signal that the emotional connection is weakening, and you are proceeding rapidly toward the loss of love in that relationship.  These are the inevitable consequences of not telling the complete truth.  We call them the ‘Four Rs’:

Resistance          Resentment          Rejection          Repression.

Resistance occurs when you partner says something or they do something or forget to do something and it bugs you and brings up uncomfortable feelings.  You might feel frustrated, disappointed because you expected something and they didn’t deliver, or maybe you made a mistake and you are worried about their reaction.

These are all feelings of resistance – feelings that come up that we don’t deal with, feel and release.  We begin to feel separated from our partner just a little bit.  It’s not big in the beginning, it’s just little, but most people pretend that these little resistances are not there – you may have thoughts like, ‘oh, no one’s perfect, don’t be so critical,’ or ‘why am I making such a big deal out of this? Just forget it, let it pass’ – like sweeping the dirt under the carpet, but as you keep sweeping and not dealing with it, after a while you’ll trip on the carpet.  These little resistances build up and turn into a feeling of resentfulness.

Suddenly we get really upset about the little things that use to be no big deal.

Resentment is an intense dislike of the other person for what they are doing.  You just start having these negative feelings about them, in the beginning you used to love them.

When we feel resentful, generally a part of us is feeling we are giving more than we are getting.  We are feeling something unfair is happening, we are not getting what we deserve, it’s not right, it’s not OK and we think that the resentment is caused by their behaviour, but the real cause of the resentment is that we are not feeling loved, and the reason we are not feeling loved is we are not dealing with our own feelings.

When we can release our own feelings then we are open to receiving the love that is around us.  But when we start suppressing those negative feelings because they will make things uncomfortable or we think they will make things worse, our ability to receive love diminishes.  We begin to feel in the relationship – “I am doing all the giving and I am not getting what I deserve”.  Resentment is generally accompanied by an internal experience of anger and tension – you separate from your partner emotionally.  Anger and frustration, annoyance, sharpness or hate are all symptoms of resentment.  If you don’t take the time to explore those feelings deep inside which are giving rise to the resentment, then over time the resentment increases and increases and increases and then it turns into rejection.

Rejection occurs when so much resistance and resentment builds up that it is impossible for you to stay emotionally connected to the other person.

To connect with them forces you to get in touch with all these built up feelings – so to avoid feeling these painful emotions we feel the need to push away our partner. A lot of this happens unconsciously – we are not even aware of it – rejection slips into the relationship and you will start finding yourself always at odds – you will polarise e.g. even over food, where to spend leisure time, vacation, suddenly can never agree on anything and begin to think that you are just not compatible yet when you go back to the beginning of the relationship you got along on all these issues.  You used to be able to make little sacrifices to work things out, but now he wants something and she wants something differently.  Another symptom of this stage is susceptibility to romance.  This stage is the natural consequence of carrying around stored up resentment.  Now feeling that you love your partner but you are no longer in love with them.  Divorce usually happens in this stage.  If you stay together, you will move into the fourth stage.  If you don’t take the time to explore and release your feelings they will inevitably build up and continue to build up until – repression.

Repression is the most dangerous of the four stages – it occurs when you are so tired of resisting, resenting and rejecting that suddenly you successfully repress all your negative emotions to keep the peace.

Repression is a state of emotional numbness, which spills over into the rest of your life.  You lose your enthusiasm and aliveness.  The tricky thing about repression is that a couple in this stage may appear to be happy, and may even think that they are happy, because they are numb to all their unhappy feelings.  This is trouble unless they take the time to explore what their real feelings are.

Some people are such experts at repressing their feelings that they move automatically from resistance down to repression in a few moments without even recognising what they are doing.

Every time you express the truth about your feelings and get back to the love inside, you are increasing your ability to love and feel connected to your partner to receive what they have to give and to give them what they need to receive.